It’s thanksgiving week and I have been so sad. Some days I just feel down. I wish that Will was with us. It feels so lonely. He is missed at the table at every meal. He is missed when we take a picture. He is missed when we laugh. He is simply MISSED.
It just isn’t the holidays that are hard. Everyday is, but those big days we celebrated last year while pregnant, they kind of suck this time around. I just knew he would enjoy so much this year. I knew we would enjoy so much more this year because of Will.
And here is where the kick to the gut comes, we are learning to enjoy so much more because of losing Will. It’s so weird. I can’t even describe it. I am so much more thankful for everything now. The mundane stuff means more. And the big stuff I used to fuss over doesn’t even matter. Losing Will has taught me so, so much.
So this Thursday, when you are with your family, friends, or whoever you choose to be with, thank God for everything. Thank Him for the small things that make you smile. Thank Him for the big things that make you cry. Thank Him for that very moment you’re breathing. And thank Him for what He has given. And taken away. Because everything He does is something to be thankful for.
In the darkest moments of life, I try to find a reason to thank Him. It allows me to remind myself He is in control and He is continuing to get us through everyday. He is the reason for Thanksgiving. Psalm 100:4 says “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.” Will never made a sound here on earth, but I know he was so, so loud the moment he entered Heaven. And I know he hasn’t stopped talking since he woke up in Heaven. Will is in Heaven singing His praises and is perfect. I can sing His praises on earth until the moment He calls me home too. I will rejoice for He has made me glad.