So it’s 1:03 am and I haven’t been to sleep. Not completely out of the ordinary, but different than the past few months. I’ve been sleeping better. Finding a balance between grief and joy. But changes are coming. Mama and Daddy bought a new office building and we are moving. In 2 days. And I’m so excited and so proud that Daddy has made something of this business. It’s been a long road we have travelled together. My whole life. He’s been working for this.
But it’s gonna be hard. This office has been my whole career. My whole adult life. It’s where Coy asked for my hand in marriage. It’s where I was when I lost our first baby. It’s where I worked while I carried Will. It’s where I was the morning Will was born. We rode by it in the funeral procession. It’s where Papa visited all the time. It’s where we were the day before Papa died. We left and didn’t come back until after our Papa was in Heaven. Sally was our office dog. She came there everyday and literally we watched her die there.
But if God isn’t changing your life, we stop growing and needing Him. I know this to be true. So change is hard, but necessary. It’ll be great. It’s just hard to leave behind the good memories and the hard memories.
And now I’m bawling my eyes out on the toilet.
Joy in the Mourning 