4 years.

It sure doesn’t seem like it’s been this long. And it also feels like I have lived 10 lifetimes since you were born.

Life keeps moving at the speed of light and when I look around it feels like I could close my eyes and still feel you here. I could close my eyes and feel me making myself make the walk to visit your room in the NICU. I still feel the weight of the whole world on my shoulders while walking the hallway. I smell that hall. I smell you. I wish I could touch you. I wish I could hold your hand. I wish for anything for you to be here.

But you can’t. And I would do it all over again. My heart is broken but I can’t imagine not loving you. You made me a Mama. And I’ll never stop loving you.

God keeps using our family for His glory. People keep seeing Him through us. Everyday we choose to get up and keep going. Only because of Jesus.

I’ll never stop wanting to hold your hand. One day soon, sweet Will. Mama and Daddy love you more than anything.

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