Yesterday, our sweet Will would have been 9 months old. When I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to do those comparison pictures with like 3 months pregnant and then 3 months with Will. I know it’s so superficial, but that’s what I wanted. 9 months in and 9 months out. All day, everyday, I wonder about what our baby would be like? Would Will look like me or Coy? Would he be a good sleeper? Would he be as perfect as I imagine? Would he be still while I should have been holding him today for our monthly picture? Why couldn’t I still have my baby here so we could be doing mundane things, like taking a picture.
And then while Alli and I were talking, I realized I could. It wouldn’t look like one of those happy pictures with the baby and mama. It would be Will 9 months in me and 9 months later of me with empty arms. It’s been a rough few days. 9 months is a long time. It still feels like yesterday and forever all in the same time.
Everywhere you read or look, people post the highlight reel of their life. There isn’t anything, anywhere to make someone going through something feel like they aren’t alone. Deep down, everyone knows that everyone around them go through tough spots. But in the social media world, no one really posts if they had a bad day. But that is life. Some days are good. And some days are bad. But God, in the midst of all the junk, is still good. So even on my days where I don’t want to get out of bed, I still praise Him. So today, I hope this post helps someone who is having a super bad day. I hope you know you aren’t alone and it’s okay to have a bad day. I hope tomorrow is better!
9 months in
9 months out
Joy in the Mourning 