Today should have been me giving Will his first sucker taste and dressing him in a pumpkin John John I’ve had since last year. As soon as I saw it, I knew my Will would be so cute in it. And then I wanted to dress him as a pumpkin tonight and go walk through the neighborhood and watch him smile and cackle at lights and people. I just know he would have had the best deep belly baby laugh. That’s what I thought last year.
Here’s what’s happening this year… we won’t have that big pumpkin in our arms. He is in our hearts and always on our minds. I allowed myself some sad time in his nursery this morning. I talked to a friend last night and she said it was normal and I needed to allow myself to mourn what we didn’t have together. And then put my sadness aside and be thankful.
This season we are in is odd. I am grieving more than ever before. But in that same exact moment, I am praising God for life and ALL He has done for us. I am learning that it’s okay to be in both mindsets at the same time. It’s a hard place to be. But, this is where God has placed me and I have to choose joy even in the sad. I know He is working for our good. And I know extreme joy and happiness will come. We have been in the valley. I know there are good days ahead. He has promised me that. And you too, ask Him for it!
“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you have had to suffer griefs in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perished even though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ” 1 Peter 1:6-7