Today we went to pick apples. We always go the weekend after the tax deadline. Last year was the weekend after we found out our baby was a boy! We talked to Will all through the orchard and we were so excited about bringing him back this year.
This year was completely different than what we dreamed it would be. There was a lot of mental preparation. We know he can’t be here. We knew he wouldn’t be here. And still, all the strollers and smiling babies being carried by their daddies made our hearts hurt. We walked down the first row with tears flooding our eyes and flowing down our cheeks. Coy grabbed my hand and reminded me, “we’re gonna be okay,” just as he does many times a day. And then we heard Abby laughing so hard two rows over and Chance was asking where we were. And we went back to reality and to pick apples with the rest of the family. But right before, we had a smile from Heaven.
A beautiful open orchard row with a beautiful sky and lots of fluffy clouds laid before us completely empty. No apples on the trees. No people walking down that path. Just us and the Lord. God continues to remind us of His faithfulness during the empty moments.
Joy in the Mourning 